Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
