Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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