So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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