I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
