Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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