He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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