she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
