god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
