It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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