I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he thought i was a dude.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
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and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My bed smells like the plague
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