A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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