Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
