dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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