What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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