I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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