I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize