So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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