PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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