Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
