i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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