Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
