I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
