She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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