A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize