Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
