ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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