He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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