Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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