Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
