i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
