so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
