I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
