i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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