I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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