Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
