If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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