She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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