We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You need a sexual gate keeper
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
