She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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