is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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