So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
