I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
