We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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