On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
