At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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