I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
