Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
