five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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