I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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