I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hippo gnu deer
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
