I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
