my shit smells like andre
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize