If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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