The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
