Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
