i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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